Pregnancy Q&A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.


Q : I'm two months pregnant now.
When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.


Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.


Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?


Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.


Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.


Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.


Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.


Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.


Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.