Funny Definitions

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.



Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.



Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.



Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.



Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.



Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.



Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.



Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.



Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.



Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.



Father : A banker provided by nature.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"



Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.



Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.



Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.



Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."



Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.



Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.



Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.



Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.