Little Johnny's Hole in One.....

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. And now here's......... Little Johnny again.............

Teacher: Whoever answers the question I ask, first and correctly can leave early today:
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta of here, I'm smart and will
answer the question"

Teacher: Who said "Four Score and Seven Years Ago?
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says "Abraham Lincoln"
Teacher: That's right Susie, you can go home"
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: Who said "I Have a Dream"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says:"Martin Luther King"
Teacher: That's right Mary, you can go
Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: Who said "Ask not, what your Country can do for you ?
Before Johnny can open his mouth Nancy says,"John F. Kennedy"
Teacher: That's right Nancy, you may also leave"
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the Teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these Bitches would
keep their mouths shut !!!
The teacher turns around "NOW WHO SAID THAT"
Johnny" TIGER WOODS, CAN I GO NOW ?

Lil Johnny Mathematics

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!

Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I've already got one at home..

Bubble in the Bath Tub

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the
first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to Introduce
themselves with name and hobby. She said, "Let's start with the boys
first". Boys start giving their intro...



First boy: "My name is Johnny, and my hobby is to see bubble in the
Bathtub".



Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next".



Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."



Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next".



Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".



Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next".



This continues...



And the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see Bubble in the bathtub".



Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.

Anyway, now the girls please."


First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds".


Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next".


Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes".


Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next.


You sweet Girl;
Yes you..."


Most beautiful and the Cutest Girl in the class gets up:




"Maam, my name is Bubble, and My hobby is to take bath three times a day".

Little Johnny "Add to the Picture"

It was Friday morning, and that meant it was time for an activity that the teacher called 'add to the picture'. The teacher would call students to the chalkboard one at a time. The first student would draw an object on the chalkboard, and each following student would add something to the picture to make it a new picture. The teacher called on James to start things off.



James returned to his seat.

The teacher called on Ernie next.



Ernie returned to his seat.

Now it was Suzy's turn.



Suzy returned to her seat.

Next, the teacher called Jerry to the board.



Jerry returned to his seat.Kim was called to the board.



Kim returned to her seat.

About this time, little Johnny began waving his arm hysterically. Little Johnny was well known for being off center, so the teacher was reluctant to call on him for anything. But as the teacher looked at the picture on the chalkboard, she thought that there was no way that little Johnny could possibly do anything to make this picture dirty. So she called on little Johnny, and he ran to the chalkboard.



The entire class erupted with laughter... the teacher fainted.

Little Johnny had done it again.

Little Johnny Prayer

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six year-old son,
Johnny, and said,

"Would you like to say the blessing?".

"I wouldn't know what to say," Little Johnny replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said.

Little Johnny bowed his head and said,

"Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

LIttle Johnny The Animal Game

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game.


She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand.
The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"Sally holds up her hand and
asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good Sally," the teacher replies.

Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes
on this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies.

Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?". Still no one guesses.
"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."


Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a hor*y b******."

Little Johnny Composition

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay.

It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."

"My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"

"He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

Little Johnny's A B C D , , ,

A B C D....

One day little Johnny he had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand and asked the teacher "can I go to the bathroom." she said no.

Then 5 mins later he raised his hand and said "damit I have to piss can I go to the bathroom."She said "no not with that mouth."She said now go to the corner and say your a,b,c's.frontwords and backwords

He went to the corner and said "a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z"

Then he said "z,y,x,w,v,u,t,s,r,q,o,n,m,l,k,j,i,h,g,f,e,d,c,b,a"

Then she said "Where is the p."

Lil Johny said "Running down my leg."

Little Johnny Year End Gifts

It was the end of the school year and the students were giving their teacher gifts. The teacher knew the profession od the kids' parents so she would guess what they got her.

The florists daughter gave her a box, she put it over her head and shook it. "Are they flowers?" asked the teacher, the student replied, "how did you know?"

Then the candyshop son came with a box, she pur it over her head and said "Is it candy?" The student said "how'd you know!!"

Then the liquor store owner's son, Johnny, came and the teacher saw the box leaking. She put her tounge on it and sucked the juice and said "Is it wine?"
Johnny shook his head.Then she licked it again, "Vodka?"

Johnny replied "Nuh-uhn! It's a puppy!!!"