Hillarious Call Centre Conversations

These are Actual Conversations!


Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and
can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

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Samsung Electronics


Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator:'I'm sorry, sir,I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

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RAC Motoring Services


Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

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Directory Enquiries


Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.

Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'

Caller:'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the
'B' fell off'.

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box told a worried operator:

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.

Customer: 'OK'.

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer: No'.

Tech Support: 'OK.Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.

Customer: Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click''.

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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'


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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just
realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks
will I have my file back again?'.


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This last one beats them all! There's always one. This has got to be one of
the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been
promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however,
he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for
'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.



Operator:'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller:'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller:'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller:'I don't know.'

Operator:'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller:'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall...

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller:'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller:'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller:'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well,all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!!!